worthallthis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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librarycarded2022-05-18 11:22 pm
worthallthis) wrote in librarycarded2022-05-18 11:22 pm
Survivor's Guilt [Open intro log!]
WHO: Soldat (aka CRAU Bucky Barnes) and YOU
WHERE: A public square, Over Easy, a farm, the library, and around the city!
WHAT: Arrival and trying to settle in
WARNINGS: Mostly off-screen suicidal ideation, PTSD, disassociation
I. Acclimating
Soldat had returned to Beacon, after the train. The world was dead. The lantern and the serum kept their body alive, shunted somewhere safe behind a locked door, while the World Eater ate what little light was left. They woke to a world of wild spirits and no friends and no one but themselves for company.
They spent several months there, looking for some way off that rock, and trying not to give into the urge to just smash their lantern and be done with it.
So when someone from Alexandria scooped them up, a stranger, they went.
It's been two days and they have only just manage to convince themselves to leave their hotel room, jumpy and twitchy and uncertain what to do with actual people around. They're sitting outside on a bus stop bench, dressed in several layers of hoodie over their tattered tac vest, in the evening because daylight is too bright, trying to hold still while people wander by and chewing hard on a pendant from the chain around their neck to keep from chewing their cheeks bloody, instead.
II. Over Not So Easy
They have to eat. (WE HAVE TO EAT A LOT.) They used to like being around people. (I'm sure we still do. Somewhere in here.) The cheap diner that has a soft spot for displaced people, and thus probably has people who would be the most likely to understand that they're not sure how to act around people anymore, seems like an okay idea.
So they spend a fair amount of time there on Saturday, buying meal after meal despite their limited funds until they actually do get a job, and copious amounts of hot cocoa. They're sitting in a corner booth with a good view of the door and out the window, with a book they only read half the time or a smartphone where they look for jobs that maybe don't require a lot of social interaction. Working for the Library people is starting to look better and better. (Maybe the Library needs a good cook.)
This is probably a good place for old friends to find them.
III. Exploring
Once used to the light again, at last, Soldat works on getting more used to people. People who aren't horrifying cannibal undead who want to kill them, anyway. Fortified with snacks and their most precious possessions in their many pockets, they prowl the city to try and learn the roads and sounds and the times and places it's most crowded.
They loiter around the Library, even going inside (if that's allowed), though it's kind of overwhelming in there.
They climb up to one of the rooftop farm and pause to gawp at the cows... or cow-equivalents.
They pause to pet dogs, cats, and any other domesticated or even stray animals, luring a wary one with bits of dried jerky from their pockets.
They sit in the sun in a park, eyes shut, and try to remember that it's okay to be alive even if none of their people are, anymore.
WHERE: A public square, Over Easy, a farm, the library, and around the city!
WHAT: Arrival and trying to settle in
WARNINGS: Mostly off-screen suicidal ideation, PTSD, disassociation
I. Acclimating
Soldat had returned to Beacon, after the train. The world was dead. The lantern and the serum kept their body alive, shunted somewhere safe behind a locked door, while the World Eater ate what little light was left. They woke to a world of wild spirits and no friends and no one but themselves for company.
They spent several months there, looking for some way off that rock, and trying not to give into the urge to just smash their lantern and be done with it.
So when someone from Alexandria scooped them up, a stranger, they went.
It's been two days and they have only just manage to convince themselves to leave their hotel room, jumpy and twitchy and uncertain what to do with actual people around. They're sitting outside on a bus stop bench, dressed in several layers of hoodie over their tattered tac vest, in the evening because daylight is too bright, trying to hold still while people wander by and chewing hard on a pendant from the chain around their neck to keep from chewing their cheeks bloody, instead.
II. Over Not So Easy
They have to eat. (WE HAVE TO EAT A LOT.) They used to like being around people. (I'm sure we still do. Somewhere in here.) The cheap diner that has a soft spot for displaced people, and thus probably has people who would be the most likely to understand that they're not sure how to act around people anymore, seems like an okay idea.
So they spend a fair amount of time there on Saturday, buying meal after meal despite their limited funds until they actually do get a job, and copious amounts of hot cocoa. They're sitting in a corner booth with a good view of the door and out the window, with a book they only read half the time or a smartphone where they look for jobs that maybe don't require a lot of social interaction. Working for the Library people is starting to look better and better. (Maybe the Library needs a good cook.)
This is probably a good place for old friends to find them.
III. Exploring
Once used to the light again, at last, Soldat works on getting more used to people. People who aren't horrifying cannibal undead who want to kill them, anyway. Fortified with snacks and their most precious possessions in their many pockets, they prowl the city to try and learn the roads and sounds and the times and places it's most crowded.
They loiter around the Library, even going inside (if that's allowed), though it's kind of overwhelming in there.
They climb up to one of the rooftop farm and pause to gawp at the cows... or cow-equivalents.
They pause to pet dogs, cats, and any other domesticated or even stray animals, luring a wary one with bits of dried jerky from their pockets.
They sit in the sun in a park, eyes shut, and try to remember that it's okay to be alive even if none of their people are, anymore.
no subject
He's here and he's... drunk of his ass, but he's here. That's enough. They'd never properly imagined what finding Yondu again might be like-- it had been impossible, after all, so why daydream something that hurt so much? But now he's here.
They sniff and wipe at their cheek again with the back of the flesh hand, again. (Crybaby. You don't sound any better, and you don't even have a nose right now. No.)
no subject
He mumbles as he reaches out to take Soldat's shoulder, despite knowing how he is with being touched he needs to brace himself to slide off the stool drunkenly. "Sorry I ain't proper at the moment. Needed a break. I didn't think I was ever gonna see you again."
He's unsteady on his feet, needing to be braced. But then he sees that watery look, now that he's close enough.
He just thought he'd keep losing and losing and losing. Tears have always been a trial for Yondu, and Soldat's seen the one time shit hit him in decades upon decades. He doesn't cry now, even, but seeing Soldat looking that glassy has his chest all tight.
no subject
Someone, maybe James or maybe even the Asset, throws the memory of Yondu petting their hair at them, and they give a little hitching sob and tug him into a hug. Soldat's backslid quite a bit on the touch issue, but right now they're going to plow through it. This deserves a little effort. Maybe it won't last long, but a little is better than nothing.
no subject
"Hey, Hey.... S'alright. I didn't think nobody I cared about was gonna be here, either. I saw goddamn Jack but that was about it. I was just waitin' for my time to finally come around again."
This time legitimately, rather than lingering in some kind of dream limbo. He cups the back of Soldat's neck and rights himself clumsily. "Don't let me hold ya back. You got every chance to do things right..." he muddles through, obviously still thinking that he's not a good thing to have around.
With some effort he finally finds his feet. It took some work.
no subject
(WHICH ISN'T SAYING MUCH, SINCE YOU WEREN'T GREAT WITH PEOPLE BEFORE.)
"Are you okay?" they ask, ignoring James for the moment.
no subject
Holy hell, that'd explain it. Where'd he end up that he was all alone somewhere. Lucky that somehow their paths crossed again in any way. He does his best to try and pull his mind to a more lucid place.
"I ain't ever been okay. I don't know what happened to the girls-" Raven and Kyoko "-or nothin'. Pretty sure Twig only came with me 'cause I had his little ball thing on me before I got took. Left all my other shit in my room." So, unfortunately, he has no trinkets left. Who the hell knows where they ended up. But he still has the psychic resistance crystal, and he still has the darkness pull that Than made him.
"Let's get the hell out of here. I don't wanna have this conversation-" he makes a general 'around them' kind of gesture. Somewhere private would be better.
no subject
"Yeah. Yeah, let's. Go. Where are you staying? I'll follow you." Soldat doesn't have their own place yet, waiting on finding a proper place to settle, some kind of job. Neither one had seemed like something they were ready for.
But they're going to. Yondu is here, someone is here, that makes it seem slightly less impossible. They give his shoulder a little squeeze with one hand, then let him lead the way.
no subject
He has to stumble a little, fishing in his pocket to pull out a holographic device. One hand he's using to try and type something with his thumb, the other he's reaching to grab stools and chair backs to keep from passing out.
"Orderin' a ride, I ain't makin' it just walkin'. Goin' to my place. That's private enough."
Once he's outside he grabs a pole and fights off feeling nauseous. Twig is still on his shoulder, so he pulls out the ball he's usually kept in to put him back in it for now.
no subject
"Is it far? This. This city is pretty big. I haven't explored it all yet." Maybe that should be next on the list. Maybe exploring will help them figure out what to do with themselves, here. (Not a bad idea. Good. See? Even Asset agrees. It just wants better intel for proper opsec. And we don't? DON'T KID YOURSELVES, WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO BE DOING WHATEVER YONDU'S DOING.)
A point. Maybe even a correct one.
no subject
"It ain't that far. Most of anywhere worth goin' too I usually walk to. Figured I'd walk home when I was done bastin'."
But now he'd gotten up way to early, has to lean against a light post to keep his balance. "There's this one lil' section of nowhere, filled with warrior clans and the like? That's where I picked to settle down. Felt right somehow. Did you just get here?"
He wonders how long he's been stuck here. It makes sense that without people it'd wear on Soldat. Progress had been little bit by little bit.
no subject
They look up, at the clear sky and the shining sun. "The sun's pretty nice. Actually."
no subject
Yondu looks up then, noting the blue sky. He'd always like the look of streaks of galaxy, jarring swirls of purple-blue gas trailing into fathomless night. Spiderwebs of energy against black. But boy, is a blue sky nice. And also hard on a drunken head. He rubs between his eyes.
"Been a couple of months. Didn't think I'd see any of y'all again. Save for Jack of all the goddamn people."
no subject
(Wasn't kidding about maybe somewhere needing a cook. I'm pretty sure nowhere needs a cook, Sarge.)
I can timeskip us next tag
"Plenty of jobs, though. Hopin' learnin' to travel from universe to universe'll with the library'll help me in the future." But he's not really together enough to sputter on about his plans. He simply didn't have the brain power for it.
no subject
They manage a pat, with the hand on his back. "We'll talk about it later. When you're sobered up. Okay?"
Apologies! Had a bunch of family stuff going on.
It takes him a while to fumble his way in, having to try three different keys despite them being distinct shapes (he went for the traditional style of lock, despite knowing how easy they can be to pick, because he didn't feel like fuckin' messing with it more than that). But when he opens the door? One whole side of the main apartment area is overgrowing with Yondu's weird half-baked and mutated plants. Pretty, but a testament to how he's been a little weird with those void powers.
"Make yourself at home. Somethin' over there probably has fruit if you're hungry. Should be edible to humans, we can stomach much of the same stuff." He's doing a little better. The cot doesn't feel like a journey like it would have fifteen minutes ago.
no worries, I went even longer...
Once inside, they relax some, out of the open. They drift over to the plants, metal hand coming up to gently touch a leaf here and there. "You've been busy," they comment with a little smile. "It's nice. In here."